~Reality in Consciousness
“Can African male and female relationships survive in America? Not if black-on-black love is dead. Not if we are still too scared to admit there is a problem while our families fall apart.”
I came across the read “No Disrespect” by Sister Souljah nearly three years ago when I took the initiative in research to understand the sense lack of love and its effects based on experiences with my relatives of whom I unconditionally love (by default :). Upon the book’s insight and my reflection in comparison, I rediscovered my purpose in life. Being aware that a lot of us are embarrassed, or might find it so- called “messy” to have discussions on family matters outside of the “union” due to agreeable understandings of privacy. Well, that’s not the case here. Some immediate relatives that I’ve come to know, out of anger and frustration, have enabled stagnation in moving forward together by producing toxic past regression (unresolved issues), while spearheading the rudiments of a jaded internal love, but with all means of “not knowing any better” and with no awareness of their wrongdoings. In their own dealings, then by teaching their offspring an interchangeable love as the norm of navigation in life leaves some thirsty in greed for more. I speak in truth, and whatever that dwells in the dark, I will bring it forth to the light.
The problem is mental illness, and I’ve been encouraged to recognize it over the years’ time, filtered through the conscious lens. Seeing the dis-ease range from a lower state of extreme denial of all things about self, stretching as far out to an individual existing in the company of negative entities. The lower stages of denial are reflections from a person who either is not willing to comprehend nor educate themselves about their circumstances which have led to a form of mental health disease born out of unresolved issues, which brings me to this build to reflect on here today. You see, mental illness first birthing is celebrated by the individual’s inability to recognize a lack of internal harmony after years of repetitive self-neglect. As this new form of a lower mental state and awareness of one’s self is taken hold, there’s no point in attempting to change a person who isn’t quite ready to live above the lower self. The practiced and handed down propagated empty phrase, “forgive and forget” has for years, upon generations until the next, demonstrated unconsciously how to eternalize unnecessary pain. It would be holistically ideal to forgive the people who hurt us but remember to not neglect the message that should’ve made you more aware of your powers today, hence the test of your ability to ascend with higher consciousness in the first place. The disconnection of reality (consciousness) from spiritual tests are seen as barriers instead of lesson plans to learn, pass, teach, and master. Then again, most people just can’t handle the truth and changes in life that will need to take place some time or the other. The duality that I can see now in my own individual experience with family relationships is no longer judged as good or bad, and their perceptions in life are just where it is meant to be at, in whatever time and space they uphold, but always in divine order.
So, how can we begin to reverse generational jaded, interpersonal relationships when we can hardly be still for five minutes and receive knowledge today? Let me guide you to the wise words of Dr. Akua Gray, my Naturopath instructor, to gain a very simple and basic understanding of the natural flow of love. In the text, The Natural Health and Wellness Manual, an important study is examined titled “Love is a Given”, and therefore existing before we discover how to establish self-love.
“Love is not something to possess; it is forever present because it is energy. The universal energy of love exists as energy of connection for all that exists in the seen and the unseen. Love is a powerful vibration to concentrate and direct when necessary for the realignment of an individual or group with their divine purpose. Those who are in alignment with divine energy can internalize this connection and see love in all that exists. Even with those things and people that are choosing to manifest the energy of evil and insanity, the enlightened ones will see love and do what is necessary to help bring them into alignment with truth that benefits all” (pp196).
A person seeking to change their thoughts about love may take an extended period of time especially if they are operating from emotional addictions “(pp 196).
Love is the first step to breaking any destructive cycle, especially in family matters. Knowing “that because love is an energy vibration that exists as a part of the whole divine energy, and energy cannot be created or destroyed, then the vibration of love is in complete existence in our lives at every moment.” Dr. Akua goes on to say that “it is when we move to activate higher levels of consciousness and dispel the myth that love is changeable, conditional or is lacking in our lives, that we connect with this truth and live each day in complete love that is supplied in abundance by the creator” (pp 196).
Also, studying varies forms of psychology in college did shed some light of more comprehension regarding broken foundations in the home from a “sophisticated” classification standpoint as well. In a text that I read titled Intimate Relationships, written by Rowland Miller, I’ve found the term attachment styles helpful to how we shape relationships based on many different influences in our lives. According to Miller, “attachment styles appear to be orientations toward relationships that are largely learned from our experiences with others. They are prime examples of the manner in which the proclivities and perspectives we bring to a new relationship emerge in part from our experiences in prior partnerships” Miller goes on to say, “being learned, attachment styles can also be unlearned, and over time, attachment styles can change” (Fraley et al.,2011 pp 18).
Meditating on this fact will bring you closer to vibrating on a love frequency, while having understanding of every reflection of yourself outside of the conception of denial. Change begins with you to unlearn. (I will expound more on the subject next week)
~ Written by: Reality S.J
Souljah, Sister (1994), No Disrespect, First Vintage Books, 1st ed.
Gray, Akua (2016), Natural Health and Wellness Consultant Manual, BJK Publishing
Miller, Rowland S. (2015), Intimate Relationships, McGraw-Hill Education, 7th ed.
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~The Traditional Modalities for Healing by: Reality S.J Fields
About the Author
S.J is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor, Health & Wellness Consultant, Author of “The Traditional Modalities for Healing”, Blogger & owner of www.realitynconsciousness.com. In her Blogs she enjoys writing Inspirational Tips about the utilization of Holistic Tools, such as Mindfulness, Awareness of the inner-self & its environment, weekly Affirmations for Sexual Abuse Survivors, & Afrikan Spirituality. She also loves reading, travel, fitness, & creating new vegan recipes.