The way I’ve always had seem to recall during the holiday season is that there are only two avenues around this time of year that a sexual abuse survivor would consider to promote wellness and remain stress-free.
1.) Proceed to all your holiday functions ill prepared as a guest, because no one has seen your darling face for a while anyways.
2.) Steer far away from unnecessary triggers by following my 5 Holiday-Wellness Tips for a #Stress #Free Sexual Abuse Survivor!
As a sexual abuse survivor, you will need to empower yourself and initiate a plan of action before the holiday season begins to roll around again. Please, do not show up like, "I’m here and just about done with this sad show of people already"! Instead, develop a plan for your visits, making it easier for you to be with the ones that you love.
A plan that you can easily develop for your traditional get-togethers should be ideas such as an arrival time, how to respond to testy inquisitors, exit strategies, or how to be cordial with certain people is THE standard blueprint to remain stress-free and confident. Start with a plan and stick to it, no matter what! One successful method to start with is your intention and focus on your feelings and ways to keep calm in a stress-free environment.
Meditation is a good source for grounding intention. It refers to a family of self-regulation practices that focus on training attention and awareness in order to bring mental processes under greater voluntary control and thereby foster general mental well-being and development in specific capacities such as calm, clarity, and concentration (Roger Walsh & Shauna L. Shapiro 2006).” I like to practice a form of meditation known as Breath Therapy to bridge my intentions and refocus back to myself.
II GET SUPPORT
My second Holiday-Wellness Tip for a Sexual Abuse Survivor is surprisingly one that is the most forgotten about. At the major or minor holiday event with relatives or friends, ensure to establish support before you attend! Trust a holiday attendee that you can speak to directly about your level of comfort in regards to whichever festivity that you guys will be a part of.
It could be your spouse, a close relative, or friend that you can confide in. Use this time to be realistic about your situation and brutally honest about how you feel. As a sexual abuse survivor, a long and triggering explanation is unnecessary, and furthermore, it isn't owed to anyone. So keep your mission short and precise. What’s more important here is to receive support, just in case the exit door becomes your haven during the holiday season.
Oh boy, there are a lot of delicate topics to go around for more than two lifetimes, but for this holiday season, do yourself a favor and take this opportunity for the perfect time to completely zone out. For the present concerns of today, sensitive topics like the “me too” movement or the never-ending sight of the zillion sex scandals should be avoided as a sexual abuse survivor at this time..
All-in-all, these subjects on television can easily lead to unavoidable triggers. Besides the mere fact that a stranger’s sexual abuse case is easily discussed out in the open during the holidays, while potentially amid a sexual victim is being insensitive to others. Do not engage in sensitive topics!
As a sexual abuse survivor, always focus on shifting your awareness from sensitive topics to a form of positivity because the holiday season is for cheer and a year of closure.
After all, the reason why we come together for the holidays is to celebrate one another. This may be difficult as a sexual abuse survivor while in the presence of unwelcoming personalities. Nevertheless, remind yourself why you have chosen to be present amongst friends and family during this time.
A good point of reference to remember is your internal guidance, which brought you to the event in the first place. Your inner guidance is the strong-willed force that is backed up with the courage to follow through. We refer to this high gravitational space as gratitude, allowing us to be with friends and family again in the physical sense, such as for the holiday season.
Never hold your breath, but always remember to breathe through all circumstances during holiday traditions. Sometimes being in crowded areas as a sexual abuse survivor, you may need a break from visiting with family and friends, and this is okay. Make an excuse to use the restroom or just step away for a little while.
Go outside and breathe slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Take this moment to give thanks for your ability to do this. No matter the excuse, always listen to your body. During the holiday gathering, if you are experiencing a sensation of overwhelming feelings, always remember that slow and deep breathing is a technique to alleviate stressors.
So, you do not have to talk the night away at holiday visits anymore, but instead, always remain in charge with My 5 Holiday-Wellness Tips for a Sexual Abuse Survivor: (1)an unbreakable plan, (2)back up support, (3)disengaging sensitive topics, (4)focus on gratitude, and (5) controlled breathing are destined to promote balance and well-being.
☤Your Reality in Balance begins at the very moment when work is placed forth by your intent to grow and change for the betterment of self, aiding in the improvement of mankind! Balance & Peace...
About the Author:
Shaw Nee Janelle is a
"The meeting of meditative disciplines and western psychology: A mutually enriching dialogue"
(Roger Walsh & Shauna L. Shapiro 2006).